You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
