Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
