one two three fourrrrnication!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
do nipples grow back?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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