I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
