from now on my penis is your penis
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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