Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
