I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
