Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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