I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
