Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
