she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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