ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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