now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
