I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
