Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She's the barista slut.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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