What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
