Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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