where am i from again
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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