if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
