Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
