now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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