So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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