if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
