pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
