it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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