Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
