We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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