i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
