He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
wanna go halves on a baby?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
