thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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