Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
