The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
