i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
