i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
