did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
