Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
