Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
