what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
