do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
