My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
