Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
