girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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