There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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