If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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