You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
