the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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