You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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