is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
