you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
