We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
