why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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