He uses pillows to masturbate.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
