You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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